Why are people such pessimists? We don't understand. When you talk to them, they act like the whole world has been enveloped by a shadow. As though society is based on a series of unspoken constructs that we as humans just accept unquestioningly,
despite the fact that they can be damaging, and often do not serve to make any of us happy, but rather only exist to weigh us down and force us through the cookie-cutter process that is conformity, slowly crushing the life out of us until we depart this mortal coil.
Oh...well, when we put it that way, maybe there is a reason why most people are "glass half empty" types. That also explains why these 15 people must be so much fun at parties.

Josh is ready to meet his murderous soulmate
Is Josh the easy-going type, or does he have a death wish? It's kind of hard to tell from his little autobiography here, but one of the perks of being a pessimist is that you can be both laid back and low-key want to die all at the same time! Not only is pessimism most people's default mode, it's also an efficient method of multitasking. So convenient!
You watch, some murderer is going to read Josh's profile, invite him over to dinner with every intention of killing him, then they'll get to talking. The killer will find out he and Josh have a lot in common, decide not to kill him and then they'll fall in love. *Inhales* Do we smell a storyline for an Academy Award-winning rom-com, or what?!
Some things, coffee can't fix
This barista's handwritten message is a little on the pessimistic side, but, lucky for us, we take our coffee with a few spoonfuls of half and half and a couple of lumps of despondency, so it all works out.
This incredibly #OverIt coffee shop employee says they want someone to take them out back and shoot them, but the question is, shoot them with what? Hmm. How about a camera? A pessimist like them has to be photogenic, with that James Dean-ish bad boy/girl "what do I care? We're all gonna die, anyway" scowl. Or, we've got this extra can of silly string, we guess we could shoot them with that. Oh, no, wait! We know! We'll go get our suction cup dart gun! This is gonna be hysterical!




All the glory of working in an office brilliantly portrayed in one exciting picture!
When you work in an office, it has a way of draining you of your will to live. The good news is, you don't have to go through this alone! Even though the office environment will have you feeling helpless and desperate, your coworkers will share those very same sentiments! Um...hooray? We guess?
Sharing a mutual existential dread with your coworkers isn't so great, that's why, when you work in an office, there's always a lingering belief that you should be doing things to boost morale, like enacting causal Fridays, or bringing doughnuts for the break room, or making funny signs to hang up in the building. Unfortunately, when you're a pessimist trying to look on the bright side of things, it often winds up looking like this.
Memes are life, have some cake
Some...BODY once told us that memes are life, and we have to say, we totally agree. Memes sure are life! Even the most pessimistic people among us can't deny that silly pictures with funny words and phrases written across them have the power to brighten an otherwise dull, depressing day.
Memes are so great in fact, people who have no hope left often cling to them for dear life, as though memes are a lone life preserver in a see of nonsense and poppycockery—which is fine, we s'pose. It's just when you take your obsession with memes to the extreme and turn them into cakes like this, you cross over from depressed and enter the realm of deranged. Ah, it's whatevs. Cut us a slice of that, will ya?


If there's one thing we wish we could unread...
The most disturbing thing about this head cannon is that we can't actually think of a reason why it's not plausible. Obviously, it's possible for the toys in the Toy Story franchise to die, that's why they were so panicky when they were in the trash compactor in Toy Story 3. But, does that mean that the toys only die if they're completely destroyed, or can they die of "old age", as it were, allowing their bodies to "go ahead on" (shout out to Joe Don Baker for that last line) without them, meaning the child playing with them is actually playing with their lifeless corpse?

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